Table of Contents

Foreword 15
Preface: A Note about the Core Values Index 17
Introduction 19

Part I: Understanding Leadership and Integrity Gaps
Chapter 1: Foundations of Leading 31
Chapter 2: Stories of Leading 43

Part II: Symptoms of Integrity Gaps
Chapter 3: Trauma and Triggers 67
The Past Is Not in the Past
Chapter 4: Guilt and Toxic Shame 83
If They Only Knew
Chapter 5: Escapism and Compartmentalization 97
Everybody Loves Me … Outside My House
Chapter 6: Narcissism 115
I Think I’m Pretty Amazing
Chapter 7: Arrogance 139
I’m Better Than Everyone Else
Chapter 8: Blind Spots 157
Too Little Time to Listen
Chapter 9: Burnout 175
It’s Easier for Me to Just Do It
Chapter 10: Isolation 193
No One Really Knows Me
Chapter 11: Survival 213
Needs Are a Sign of Weakness
Chapter 12: Hiding 233
Confession Costs Too Much

Conclusion: Hope for Wholehearted Leadership 261

Acknowledgments 271

Appendix A: Family Genogram sample 273
Appendix B: Concentric Circles Exercise 275
Notes 277